CHAPTER
THREE
S
T
IN
G
Larksong scooped a stack of car photos off a desk, slapped half against Hampton's chest for him to hold on to as they walked up to the Cool Wall board divided in to Hot, Warm, Cool and Sub-Zero sections.
Hampton selected his first photo and slapped it firmly in the Sub-Zero section saying "Well this one's obvious! That engine and those looks! Any cooler and it wouldn't stop until it had invented the time machine and gone back to get the Titanic before the iceberg did!
With a face that could convey "dismissively" without ever saying a word, Larksong dismissed him all the same.
"No you're wrong. Not cool at all. Footballists in Cheshire drive them!" and he moved it all the way to the Hot end, immediately continuing "... now this" waving his next photo, ".. this is cool!" and puts it in the Cool end.
"It's pink!" challenged Hampton.
"And with extremely cool wheels!" responded Larksong, taking it as approval.
"Y'can't call a car cool just because of its wheels!" Hamster blurted exasperatedly, and moved the picture up to the Hot section.
"This one you can!" and Larksongs moved it right back again, petulant kid that he was.
"Pink with wheels, hmmm let me think .. No!" and Hampton grabbed Larksong's photo and tossed it in the air, takes one of his and put it up in the Sub-Zero section. Larksong moved it, Hampton reacted.
And so it continued, and eventually the Sound Guy faded their microphones down and then faded James's up as he appeared in front of the camera to move things along.
"Despite what the two buffoons behind me make you think" he said, "whether a car is 'Cool' or not is actually of great importance! Car manufacturers spend millions hoping to perfect a car's style and image so that they will sell well. Except for their names of course which they obviously just pick out of a hat."
Rather liking the Respected-and-Profound-Expert position he suddenly had found himeslf pushed in to in an effort to move things along, he warmed to his lecture.
"But if they could also push the 'Cool' button however, they would do even better!"
"But 'Cool' is both a fashion thing and a personal thing, both of which are as firm as fog and neither of which come from the expensive car stylist's pencil-box. So then, 'Cool' is what the manufacturers want hoping that they will sell more and make more money, but just as importantly buyers want 'Cool' too for altogether different personal reasons like having the right image.
And some of their reasons can be very personal indeed. Like, well I remember there was a special girl this one time ..
"THE COOL WALL BLUES"
Through the last part of the song the antics at the Cool Wall behind saw two studio techs in black jeans and tee shirt and headsets appear and get between Jezza and Hamster to push them on with the next segment of the programme.
From her noticeably white hair one of the Techs was obviously J3551CA.
Larksong was having a last bluster, but Hampton was paying more attention to J3551CA and she to him without being too obvious.
"I'm sorry but you are just wrong .." said Larksongs as they made their way over to James waiting back on the Motoring News seats, "absolutely and completely wrong. That car is not at all cool, not in the slightest bit. At all!"
But Hampton was completely distracted, he and J3551CA had connected for a couple of quick moments and as she left they both turned last-minute to look at each other.
His lingering got in the way of him hearing the first time that Gray called to him.
And the second.
But the third at least drew a "Sorry ... what?"
"The next Motoring News?" Gray prodded sharply, then
"But by the way, what you were saying before about having odd feelings .. yes at times I have thought a little like that maybe."
"But to be honest I put it down to just how it feels to be able to strap a Reliant Robin to a rocket and launch it in to space, or be a roadie for The Who, or send a Mini down a ski-jump .. stuff like that .. bound to give you flutters just at the thought .. having that much fun should probably be illegal!"
"It often is" Hamster pointed out, "remember getting banned from driving in France?"
For a seriously grounded man however, Gray's brow was still more furrowed than normal as he asked
"Seriously though, you actually think something's really going on?"
"Dunno" replied Hampton, "but when something seems too good to be true it usually is .."